3/26/06
My name is Edna Pratt and I live in Providence, Rhode Island. I am currently lodging two nice and polite young men calling
themselves Masters Grymm and CreepKnight. I found them on my front porch this morning huddled beneath the porch swing in utter
terror. Upon asking them of their purpose (I am always finding that young solicitors are using new and strange techniques
in order to convert me to their heathen monotheistic religions) they rushed inside and proceeded to empty my Frigidaire of
most of its contents and babbled about someone called “Lame Gil Dom” and the “Lobster Claw Mafia.”
Well of course I was ready to turn them away. After all, the insane have no place in society whatsoever; their crazy, hedonistic
actions are an affront to good gods fearing folk everywhere.
But I stared deep into their eyes, attempting to glean some portents of what they were to bring into my home. But there were
no perverse plans of charity and virtue, only the fear of someone scared for the sanctity of their young, goodly lives. So
of course, being a goodly lady myself, I took them into my home and prepared them a meal of nice and healthy fried chicken
and mashed potatoes. After all, growing boys need their meat and potatoes; vegetables are for boys who listen to their parents
and grow up to be doctors. I knew these two were not of that terrible breed; they were (and are) good boys.
So they are currently in hiding here and we have made an excellent arrangement; in return for cleaning my gutters and teaching
me about this wonderful device called “the internet” I am delivering them from the claws of the Lobster Claw Mafia,
giving them lodgings, and translating the gibberish their balloon keeps uttering into an intelligible dialect of French. It
really has been quite a treat for me. They are good boys. But until the Lobster Claw Mafia gives up its vicious and terrible
pursuit of these fine, young gentlemen, they will have me deliver their story to their “web mistress” (a nice,
respectable term, I might add) and their personal messages to their readers.
Master Grymm would like to say:
“Beware! The crustacean menace lurks in the tiniest corners of the tiniest rooms in the tiniest of places! They do not
show mercy! Big Claws Joe is out for blood and by the gallons! Stomp the shellfish before it stomps you! You could be next!”
And Master CreepKnight would like to say:
“Remain strong citizens. The dreaded Lobster Claw Mafia cannot remain obsessed with our capture but for so long. We
will return, twice as strong and crustacean free in a few mere weeks (at least, we hope). CreepKnight’s and Napoleon’s
feud ends in a few weeks, and after that we enter the terrible mind of Grymm… stay tuned.”
That is all for this week, young ones. Until then, I remain faithful to the revolution of the so named “Voodoo Walrus.”
-- The Goodly Edna Pratt
~~~~~
3/14/06
Greetings Citizens!!!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know we’re late getting the comic to you. But your patience is well deserved, as Napoleon makes
his second appearance in a strip I like to think of as paying homage to that great philosopher of the modern age, Silent Bob.
One line… one freaking line! You can bet that there are some folks who couldn’t get away with that. Not us at
Voodoo Walrus.
Speaking of dialogue, this brings me to the topic of fonts. Aside from being the comic’s writer, I am also the letterer,
which means it’s my job to make the word bubbles and the words you read. Obviously I do this all on the computer, but
it is still tedious. In fact, Grymm and I are both in agreement that it is one of the most, if not the most, tedious tasks
in creating a comic.
But sometimes you get new fonts, and it makes the comic all pretty like.
So a special thanks to Blambot for the loverly comic fonts. For anyone looking into creating a web-comic, comic book, or nifty
project that you want to look like a funny book, it’s a one stop shop for all your lettering needs. And don’t
just download the free ones you cheap son of a bitch. Get some of the pay ones too; make sure that great sites like Blambot
stay in business for schmucks like us.
By the way, if there are any readers out there who want to ask a question about the comic, feel free to email either Grymm
or I or both of us via the contact page where we list our own personal emails as well as the email for the comic itself. We’re
always up for answering intelligent questions or receiving praise and [constructive] criticism from our readers.
Finally, a very special thanks to Grymm for the work on this episode in particularly. He’s put in a great deal of work
into this art laded episode and, due to technical malfunctions, actually had to do it twice. So, a round of applause for Grymm;
it’s a wonder you aren’t insane by now.
At least, any more than you already are.
Fun fact: Koalas don’t like being poked with spoons, but do occasionally enjoy a therapeutic deep tissue massage followed
by a scalp massage. But never offer a Koala a happy ending; he might get offended by your bluntness.
-- Villamous Q. CreepKnight, BShD.
~~~~~
3/2/06
Greetings Citizens!!!
I want to sleep. Anyone ever read “Quicksand” and “The Passing” by Nella Larson? Yeah, it’s
like using sandpaper for bathroom tissue… not a good idea. But that’s done, as is this week’s installment
of Voodoo Walrus. Finally, readers are privy to the first appearance of the mysterious Napoleon.
In other news, things are starting to wind down for Grymm and I. Give us a couple of weeks and we should be on a set schedule,
but again, no promises. Real life is a pain in the arse, as I’m sure most of you know.
In the meantime, I am taking this time for a new segment I like to call “Getting to know the people who entertain you.”
This week’s installment includes the top five songs currently crunching up space in our brains.
CreepKnight’s Top Five:
1) World Party- Is it Like Today?
2) Audioslave- Show Me How to Live
3) Toad the Wet Sprocket- Throw it All Away
4) ilyAIMY- Sever
5) Dishwalla- Charlie Brown’s Parents
Grymm’s Top Five:
1) Auf Der Maur- I’ll Be Anything You Want
2) Fiona Apple- Extraordinary Machine
3) Remy Zero- Smile
4) The Comas- Tonight on the WB
5) Slipknot- Vermillion
So there you go- the sounds we use to create our imaginary lives. You should give it a listen… or you don’t have
to, but it’s good music. Shiny, even.
Hail Chaos,
-- Villamous Q. CreepKnight, BShD.
~~~~~
